I have decided that I am no longer going to be discussing work so specifically. I will probably go make those blogs private. They should just be for me. I have battled back and forth on whether I should do this or not and the reason for the battle is that I really want this blog and whatever other means I use, to help someone else that is grieving. Not only grieving but maybe to help someone that is not what everyone thinks they should be or have the personality everyone believes they should have. I hate hiding any part of this whole process. I have always made it clear that what you see is what you get and that is who I am and I want to be as transparent as possible. Work is such a huge part of the day and the people that we work with, we sometimes see more than our own families and it’s part of the reason I started blogging. I lost my confidence and had no one to really complain to or talk things out with, so the blog was going to be it. I just can’t risk it being used against me too. I have come to realize that you truly have to be careful who you trust. I’ve honestly learned it the hard way and as I have stated in another blog, once too often. I always truly believed that I could be me and be honest about how I was feeling and never worry that anything would be used against me. It has though and even today, I feel like I have someone who watches my moves and moods and reports back. I have made comments about this in another blog and hate feeling like this. This whole process has changed me and I am not sure if it’s for the better. I feel hardened and un-trusting and less giving of myself. With that said, I guess until I find that person I can truly trust, I will just keep parts, most parts, of myself… to myself.